


Love is Love

by joel_on



Category: K-pop, Monsta X, Monsta X (Band), Wonho - Fandom
Genre: BoyxBoy, Fluff, M/M, Romantic Soulmates, bad boy wonho, boyslove
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:00:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27795793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joel_on/pseuds/joel_on
Summary: Wonho was the person he loved and the other just happened to be a man.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon & Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Chae Hyungwon/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, hyunwonho - Relationship
Kudos: 17





	Love is Love

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to write a cute yet realistic love story of gay men in Korea.  
> A tribute to all my brave friends facing the difficulties of being in a gay relationship in Korea day by day!

"Hyung?" Wonho looked up from his phone and was greeted by a beautiful sight. Hyungwon had his head rested on his hand as he seemed to be daydreaming out of the window. It had been raining all day so there were many raindrops on the window, but now they were reflecting the sunlight breaking through the window, letting the light dance on Hyungwon's skin like sparkles of pure sunshine. "Do you think we should tell the others?" he asked.

"What the fuck are you talkin' 'bout?" Wonho asked back, even though he had an idea what Hyungwon was implying.

"About us." Hyungwon answered quietly and turned his head to look at the older. Their eyes met and Wonho didn't dare to look away. No matter if Hyungwon was wearing lenses or not, his deer-like eyes were always big and clear. His long lashes framed his eyes perfectly. It was a glaze one could easily drown in and Wonho found himself sinking deeper and deeper into the walnut brown color all too often.

"You were the one, who told me that we should keep it a secret." Wonho stated as a matter of fact and Hyungwon sighed, lifting his head of his hand and taking a sip of his iced americano before he answered. The ice cubes had already started to melt so the strong, bitter taste of arabica coffee was slowly becoming thinner.

"I know. It's just that this had been all very new to me back then. I needed to figure everything out for myself first. But I also know that this – us, it's not going away. So, I thought maybe it's time to tell them." Hyungwon had lowered his glaze, watching the droplets of condensed water running down his glass.

Now it was Wonho who flashed a toothless, but wide smile as Hyungwon looked up to meet his eyes again. Wonho's own eyes were partly hidden under the shade of his cap, but they were still shining brightly and Hyungwon knew that he was the only one who was able to see Wonho like this. 

To everyone else Wonho was nothing but a pretty face with a foul mouth and a bad character. But Hyungwon could see behind the act and he was the only one allowed to enter behind the big walls, Wonho had built inside of him, hiding and protecting.

"Quit the act, I'm just teasing you." The older answered amused, before his tone got serious. "I dun mind keepin' our relationship as a secret for as long as you want. I like how it is right now and if you want to wait a little longer then I'll wait with you." Hyungwon snorted at Wonho's cheesy words and the sight of the sickening sweet, but small smile in front of him. But that didn't mean that he didn't like it.

This - all of it - was his Wonho. And his alone.

Wonho's face then turned even more serious than it already had been, his smile disappearing as he continued to look at the younger in front of him. Taking in every centimeter of the others face as if he was looking at it for the very first time.

"I'm fuckin' serious, Hyungwon." He started. His voice sounding sad, somehow. "We can wait. Outing yourself is a shitty scary and dangerous thing to do. Your life will turn into a complete shit-show, trust me. This will affect how your friends, your family and even your stupid co-workers will look at you. People you thought you could trust will suddenly turn their backs to you, stabbing you in the back as if we're in a freakin' Saw movie, acting as if you never existed. Or be disgusted by you. Hate you. You know that it will be written on your forehead like a shitty tattoo, which can't be erased anymore. This really needs to be thought through, Hyungwon."

Hyungwon listened to Wonho's lecturing quietly and knew that the older was right. He hated nothing more than realizing that he couldn't fight back because there was no space left for discussion. Wonho was right. But he also knew that Wonho's words weren't coming from anywhere, but his very own experience and that made it even harder to accept. 

Hyungwon nodded, his head low as a weird kind of quilt made its way to his chest, tightening around his heart. 

Wonho, despite his rather bad character and short temper, had always wanted to become an elementary school teacher, back in his home town. He lost his younger brother to child services and then to drugs and death, when he himself was only 15. 

His own childhood had been nothing but a fight. Endless fights with other kids, smoking since the age of 12, alcohol since he was even younger. An abusive, alcoholic father and mother with undiagnostic Stockholm-syndrome. 

Despite nearly getting expelled a few times and spending some time in youth jail, Wonho somehow managed to graduate High School and to pass the university entry exam, allowing him to study pedagogy, to achieve his dream and even got a job at a Hakwon after graduation and finishing military services to gather teaching experience, before becoming a real elementary school teacher. 

Wonho had never told him how, but the Hakwon principle had heard rumors about Wonho being in a relationship with a man and fired him the very next day, without confronting him about that matter or researching if the rumors were true or false first. The School Authority and the Ministry of Education started to invest Wonho's private life and interviewed him after the Hakwon authorities had reported him.

Wonho, knowing that no matter how much he would try couldn't win this fight, admitted that he indeed was in a relationship with a man after a while. They then took away his teaching license and left an entry in his Civic Register so that every future employer could see "what a dirty and disgusting bastard he is", as they said.

When he first heard the story Hyungwon had been so unbelievable angry. He couldn't understand how a relationship between men could make Wonho more of a criminal to those people than his actual time in youth jail, but Wonho had told him that it was ok. He had accepted this part of his life and somehow managed to convince Hyungwon that he was happy with the life he had now. Hyungwon still felt angry whenever he was reminded of that story and guilty, because he also had made Wonho remember this part of his past.

Wonho was now working in a tone studio here in Seoul, loving making music as much as he had loved teaching. It always had been a hobby for him, and he was really grateful that he got the chance to earn money with something he loved. The tone studio was owned by a Swedish music company and they didn't care at all if Wonho was with men or not, saying a youth jail record could be ignored as well as long as the man Wonho was now had changed.

"What's up with this serious talk?" Hyungwon pouted and crossed his arms, before he turned to look out of the window again, not being able to look Wonho in the eyes for the moment. He wanted to change the topic knowing that even when Wonho was telling him that it was ok – that he was ok, that in fact the other was still hurting by those events of his past.

Since the day they had met for the very first time, the older was worried that Hyungwon might have to experience the same horrible things as he did. Wonho had never lied to Hyungwon about his life or his past before and Hyungwon respected that about the other the most. Hyungwon himself had been raised in a pretty conservative household in a catholic neighborhood. His childhood hadn't been all fluffy and unicorns but compared to Wonho, Hyungwon knew that he should be thankful for everything he had, and his parents had given to him.

Still Hyungwon had to admit that he was a little scared of how his parents and his brother would look at him, what they would think of him and how they would react. He was scared that his friends wouldn't understand him and that he would have to fight a war he couldn't win against society.

But whenever he looked at Wonho Hyungwon was sure that he could endure it. That even if his family would turn their backs towards him, he would be able to bear the pain, because Wonho would be with him. Wonho had been fighting all his life and Hyungwon wanted to take that burden from him. Even just a little bit. He wanted to be the one to fight for them from now on and Wonho was worth any fight.

"And who said I'm outing myself?" Hyungwon continued in a quiet and pouty voice, trying to get the sad thoughts out of his mind by overplaying them with childish behavior, but Wonho heard him just fine.

"Not? Then what the fuck were you going to tell'em?" Wonho asked curiously, laughing at the others childish act. "Did you wanted to go to them and be like 'Hey guys, how have ya been? By the way I've been fucking this guy for four months now, but don't worry. I'm not some faggot' or something like that?" Wonho asked, mimicking Hyungwon in an overly dramatic way. Hyungwon shook his head as he couldn't hide a grin, watching Wonho. 

The older was the definition of the word "Duality".

He was wearing a loose black T-Shirt with a front print today, but just from seeing the others lower, exposed arms and the wide back and shoulders everyone could see just how built Wonho was. Wonho wasn't the tallest, but his trained body made him seem bigger than he actually was. But Wonho's wasn't one to easily start a physical fight. If he fought, then it was to protect someone. 

His personality on the other side was either more childish and playful than Hyungwon could ever be and Hyungwon often felt like he was the Hyung babysitting a joyful five-year-old boy, or that of a cursing asshole with a lousy mouth, getting him into dangerous situations every now and then.

"Of course not. I admit, haven't thought this through, yet." He took another sip of his iced americano. Wonho had finished his drink and his piece of cake long ago, but Hyungwon was a slow eater and drinker and could probably spend a whole day trying to eat a single slice of toast if he wanted to. "It's just that they're my best friends, Hyung. And I think that I have to tell them eventually." Wonho nodded understanding.

"And for your information!" Hyungwon suddenly said a little too loud but with a sly grin appearing on his plump lips. "I'm not gay. I don't like men." He added in a quieter voice, not wanting the whole Café to hear what they were talking about.

"Wow." Wonho's eyes widen and he put a hand over his chest where he assumed his heart was, being playfully hurt. "Then the fuck am I? Am I not a man to you?" he asked whining, being hurt in his manly pride. "If you don't believe me, I can freakin' prove it to you. But you already saw my- "

"That's not what I mean!" Hyungwon quickly interrupted the other, before he could continue his talk about his private part in public. Knowing that the light pink blush on Hyungwon's cheeks making the teasing even more enjoyable for Wonho.

"But you said you don't like men?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes. Because it's the truth. I'm seriously not attracted to any man I see. Just to you, hyung." Hyungwon caught one of Wonho's feet between his own under the table as he smiled innocently. "To me, it's just you." Judging from his wicked grin on his face Wonho really enjoyed this cheesy side of Hyungwon very much. He reached over the table and lay his hand over Hyungwon's which was resting next to his half empty cup filled with a melted ice cubes americano mix. 

Hyungwon looked at Wonho surprised. Like Wonho had said, as a man being with another man was not easy, because people weren't as accepting and open-minded as they always claimed to be. The country had risen from the ashes of the war faster than anyone could have predicted, but the people couldn't. There was still a long way until they were the modern and open-minded country they wanted and pretended to be.

He didn't pull his hands away, however. No matter the weather or the temperature, Wonho's hands were always warm and the soft touch against his own, cold fingers felt very comforting and needed. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment, not saying anything.

Wonho had longed to hold Hyungwon's hand the whole day already. But he knew that he had to keep the body contact when they were in public to a minimum or at least in a friendship-like manner. Laying an arm over the other's shoulders was no problem as it was seen as an act of friendship between two men, but holding hands was impossible. 

But hearing Hyungwon, who didn't voice his feeling or thoughts very often, say those things just made it impossible for Wonho to resist. It didn't matter if the other was just trying to be playful. Wonho knew that those words were coming from the other's heart. He ran this thumb over the Hyungwon's cold, but soft skin before he spoke.

"Same for me." Wonho answered in a surprisingly quite voice, as if he was making extra sure that no one, but Hyungwon could hear him. "There is only you." When Wonho pulled his hand away Hyungwon's fingers started to feel cold again and a desire to just grab the other's hand and intertwine their fingers rose in Hyungwon. But he couldn't; at least not now.

"Says the man, who had other boyfriends before." Hyungwon playfully said while shrugging his shoulders, as if he wasn't trusting Wonho's words when in reality he was trying to cover his racing heart, a little too excited by those little words. He then lifted the glass to his lips and started to drink the rest of his now very watery americano, hoping Wonho wouldn't notice the blush on his face.

Wonho crossed his arms in front of his chest, automatically making his arm and chest muscles flex in the process. Hyungwon's eyes wandered to the other's broad chest and his arms. Not even the wide T-Shirt could hide how built he was anymore when he was sitting like this. To say Hyungwon wasn't jealous of Wonho's body would have been a lie, but Hyungwon was lazy. Going from his home to his work and back was already enough work out for him, so he knew that a body like this was just not meant to be.

And the feeling of Wonho's strong and beefy arms around his body, when he would wrap his arms around him, completely trapping the younger, felt just too right. Sometimes, when they were in bed, Wonho's arms wrapped around his body, his own face either resting in the crack of his neck or laying on Wonho's broad chest he wondered if he had been born for this. If being in Wonho's arms was the only reason he was alive.

"So now it's my fuckin' fault you didn't came into my life earlier? Or that you took like freakin' forever to figure out that you wanted me?" He answered and Hyungwon couldn't hide a smile as Wonho was once again playing along with him. The older put on his black training jacket and adjusted his cap, making himself ready so leave the Café as Hyungwon was finally getting to finish his drink.

Hyungwon knew he had been hard to get. Wonho had caught interest in the beautiful, tall male right from the first time he had seen the other. It hadn't been love at the first sight, but there clearly had been something about the other. At least for Wonho. 

When Wonho finally got to talk to the other a few days later, he seriously had tried to be nice and friendly and not the kind of dick-head he normally was, but Hyungwon clearly hadn't been catching any of Wonho's flirting or if he had then he hadn't shown if he was affected or disgusted by it at all. 

It had been a long process of convincing Hyungwon that they should get to know each other, despite Wonho normally pushing everyone who got too close to him away, then finally getting to know each other better, becoming something like friends and carefully testing waters for Wonho. Especially when he had no idea if Hyungwon was even slightly interested in him that way or if he was into men at all.

"Touché!" 

Hyungwon himself took his long beige colored coat, but only carrying it over his arm as they stood up, not putting it on completely. Despite the rain the weather wasn't actually cold and Hyungwon already felt a little hot in his black turtle neck.

A faint smile appeared on Wonho's lips as he still clearly remembered the day, he had come out to Hyungwon. The younger had worn the same turtle neck he was wearing now, only his hair had been a lot shorter and brighter than today. Wonho had to admit that Hyungwon with his black, wavy hair and black turtle neck was stunningly beautiful.

By the time Wonho had come to accept that he actually had romantic feelings for Hyungwon which were beyond friendship and a plain crush or interest, he had thought that it was only fair towards Hyungwon to tell him the truth. To tell him that he was gay and that when they were together, Wonho would think of anything, but not friendship. 

He had visited Hyungwon's house after work, like he had done a few times before, bringing food and drinks to make sure that Hyungwon would eat, despite the crazy amount of work the other had at that time, due to some bigger projects he had to work on.

He had told Hyungwon that he was gay before they were able to eat, not being able to bear the thought of Hyungwon rejecting him any longer. As if you pull a patch off the skin, it is better to make it short and comparatively painless. 

The other had just stared at him for some time and Wonho would have paid everything just to see a glimpse of what was going on behind those deer-like eyes. When Hyungwon still hadn't said anything after about five minutes Wonho decided that it was probably the best to leave, but before he was able to stand up from his seat on the floor Hyungwon had stopped him. Explaining that he didn't mean to react like that and that he understands and that just because he was gay, he wouldn't see Wonho any differently.

Wonho still remembered the way he had smiled at Hyungwon sadly explaining him that, no, Hyungwon didn't understand shit. Because Wonho wanted him to see him differently. Because he, too, was seeing Hyungwon differently. 

"What are you smiling at?" Hyungwon asked, one eyebrow raised, when he was holding the door of the Café open for Wonho to pass through. Wonho just shook his head, telling him it was nothing, but his smile didn't leave his lips, making Hyungwon raise an eyebrow, but he didn't comment on it any further.

They hadn't talked or texted for over a week after he had left Hyungwon's apartment right after his confession and Wonho had actually started to lose hope and regret that he told Hyungwon, when the other had waited for him in front of his work one day. Telling him in a half embarrassed, half angry tone that they better talk this shit out and what the hell Wonho was thinking to drop the "I'm gay" and "I like you" bomb both on the same day and then disappearing for a week? 

Hyungwon had sounded so much like Wonho that day, cursing like he never done before.

The sun was already starting to set, and the air smelled fresh and clean after the long rain in the afternoon. They had gone out together to buy a birthday present for Hyungwon's mother earlier but were surprised by the rain and decided to wait inside the Café until the rain would slow down or stop. Now the still wet streets were reflecting the red light of the setting sun, blinding them, but turning everything into a beautiful movie-like scenery at the same time. 

Wonho had never met Hyungwon's mother before, but the older had a great taste in fashion and an eye for aesthetic things and so Hyungwon had begged the other to join him.

His eyes turned to look at the small baby blue paper bag in his hand. She would love the scarf Wonho had chosen, he was sure of it. It was made out of a really soft and thin, silk-like material with a beautiful autumn colored pattern. He just started to wonder what his mother would think if she knew that it was his boyfriend, who had picked out the present for her?

He turned to look at Wonho, who was walking so close to him that their shoulders would brush against each other now and then. Just like as if it was a random little action, but Wonho was doing it on purpose and Hyungwon knew.

"I don't wanna go home, yet." Wonho suddenly said as they walked up to where Hyungwon had parked his car. He turned to look at Hyungwon, his hands in his jacket pockets, blinking his eyes innocently, hoping that Hyungwon could get his unspoken message. Bumping their shoulders into each other one more time, this time with a little more force.

"You told me you have to go to work early tomorrow, though?" Hyungwon asked confused. He opened the car and put his coat and the gift bag on the backseat before facing Wonho, who was now pouting and sulking. It was such a delightful sight, seeing this big, muscular man wearing nearly all black clothes, trying to act cute. A sight only meant for Hyungwon's eyes. He had nothing against spending more time with Wonho, but he knew that the other had a huge and important project coming up which he had been preparing for the last two weeks.

"I said 'yet'. I'll go home later, just let me come with you for a little longer. I'll behave, I promise." Wonho countered, now seriously sulking about the fact that Hyungwon was really thinking about leaving without him now. Hyungwon couldn't suppress a laugh as he generously enjoyed the sight in front of him. His boyfriend's look and his character and behavior really didn't match at all, but this made him even more charming.

"Fine. Just a little more." Hyungwon gave up with a loud, fake sigh and Wonho's mood lifted automatically. A wide smile spread across his face and he was quick to take the passenger seat. Hyungwon just shook his head amused and took the driver's seat himself.

As soon as Hyungwon was seated Wonho held out his left hand, offering it to Hyungwon. Wonho had a gearshift car, but Hyungwon's car was an automatic. Whenever they would ride Hyungwon's car together Wonho would offer his hand to Hyungwon, knowing that the younger wouldn't really need his own right hand to drive the car. And every time Hyungwon would take it.

Wonho's thumb started stroking Hyungwon's hand as soon as their fingers intertwined. A satisfied sign left Wonho's lips. He had wanted to hold the other's hand the whole day already, knowing that he wasn't able to when they were out in public. This also might or might not have been one of the reasons, why he didn't want to go home already, because he knew that he would get to take Hyungwon's car where he would be able to hold the other's hand as much and as long as he wanted.

Because in here it was just the two of them.

"You're surprisingly clingy today." Hyungwon stated as Wonho had been stealing touches, unnoticed by the world, all day already. Not that he minded at all and Wonho had been pretty open with his appreciation for skinship and physical contact right from the start, but somehow, he seemed a little more needy for attention and affection than usual.

"I missed you." was Wonho's short, but truthful answer. He lifted Hyungwon's hand up to his lips and left small pecks on each knuckle. Hyungwon just tried to focus on the street and the traffic as his cheeks turned pink again.

They barely had seen each other the last two weeks. Wonho had to prepare for his project and one of Hyungwon's co-workers was on baby-leave while the other was sick with the flu and so he had the triple amount of work. They didn't talk the rest of the drive and just enjoyed each other's presents. Wonho played with Hyungwon's hand and fingers the whole time, stroking them, holding them tight, then kissing the cold skin again. Hyungwon's fingers were always cold, but never when they were in Wonho's warm hands.

Hyungwon parked his car in the underground garage of his apartment complex and Wonho was fast leaving the car and taking Hyungwon's stuff from the backseat, carrying it for the other.

When they first got together Hyungwon had been scared that Wonho would treat him like a woman or that he would start to feel like one, not that he had any idea what being a woman felt like. In his head or with the little knowledge he had about a man-man relationship before was that one had the role of a man and one had the role of a woman.

But that was far from being the reality. Of course, Hyungwon knew, especially among gay men there were quite a few ones acting a lot more feminine than others, probably enjoying taking the "role" of a woman. But not with them. There was no man-role or female-role. They were both men and final. 

Not even for a single second since they started going out, or even before that, had he felt like Wonho had threatened him like a woman or was seeing him as anything less but the man he was and that was one of the things he liked about being with Wonho the most.

If Wonho was carrying his stuff, then it wasn't because Wonho thought he had to as the man in the relationship. But because he wanted to as one person loving another. Sometimes it was Wonho who would hold doors open, carry the bags or do whatever society thought was good behavior for a gentleman, sometimes it was Hyungwon. There were no roles they had to try and fit in and neither expected the other to do anything that he was not.

To be fair, just a year ago Hyungwon could have never imagined himself being in a relationship yet even being in love with another man. Before Wonho there hadn't been a single doubt inside of Hyungwon, not a single thought about what sexual orientation he might or might not have. And even know, after he had fallen so deeply in love with Wonho that it was painful trying to imagine a future without the other by his side Hyungwon had no doubts.

Hyungwon had dated women before and he might have believed that he had loved them but comparing his feelings he had for them with the feelings he had for Wonho, he knew that he had been foolish to believe that what he had experienced before was real love.

Of course, kissing and touching Wonho felt different from being with a woman, but it didn't feel wrong. 

Wonho was the person he loved and the other just happened to be a man. 

"What are you thinking about?" Wonho's voice pulled the younger out of his thoughts. Hyungwon hadn't even realized, how they had taken the elevator up to the floor his apartment was in. Wonho was standing between the opened elevator doors, keeping it open, waiting for Hyungwon.

"Sorry." Hyungwon flashed an apologetic smile and followed Wonho out of the elevator quickly and down the hallway. "It's just that I thought about us." Hyungwon added shortly after, as he entered the pin for his apartment door.

"Us?" Wonho sounded surprised. They took of their shoes in the entry area and Hyungwon couldn't hide a grin when his eyes landed on Wonho's socks. The muscular, all black wearing male with the foul mouth and language wore white colored socks with a cute, white bunny, holding a pink heart between his paws.

This was so much like Wonho himself. The outside looked manly, intimidating and a little cold-hearted and unapproachable even, but his inside was a cute, childish boy with the biggest heart Hyungwon had ever witnessed.

"Yeah. I mean you've been pretty sure about yourself for a long time now, but in my case" Wonho had placed the small present bag on the light-colored coffee table and Hyungwon's jacket over the couch, right next to where he sat down. His glaze never leaving Hyungwon's figure. "I never even thought about my sexuality or had any doubts about who I am and what I like. And then I met you."

Hyungwon sat down next to Wonho, but not looking at him. Wonho' eyes however stayed on Hyungwon's face, once again taking in every single long eyelash, every small hair of his eyebrows, the small birthmark on his eyelids, the high but pointy nose, the different pink-ish shades of the plump lips.

"You're having doubts?" Wonho asked, surprising himself with how thin his own voice suddenly sounded. But Hyungwon shook his head, making his dark hair swing back and forth, before turning his head to face Wonho. Now that the other's face was so close, Hyungwon could see the other's eyes clearly. He loved their almond shape and how big they were despite the others single eyelids.

Without saying a word, Hyungwon then leaned forwards and closed the gap between them. 

There was no hesitation, no surprised pause, no time to adjust. Wonho lifted a hand to hold Hyungwon's face where it was, as they were moving their lips deliciously slowly. Neither of them had their eyes opened as they tried to take in everything of the other with all their other senses. Trying to feel every touch, every taste, every electric rush running through their veins, every heartbeat, every shiver down their spine.

Their warm breathes mixed together, the fade taste of Hyungwon's honey lip balm lingering on both of their lips. 

"Chae Hyunngwon, I love you so freakin' much." Wonho whispered, breaking their kiss for a second, before connecting their lips for a slow, but deep kiss. Hyungwon's whole body felt hot, but good. He wanted to keep this warmth forever at all costs. And if that meant that society would see him as an outcast, would hate him and be disgusted by him, then so it be. Because nothing mattered as much as having Wonho, as having moments like this, as feeling loved like this.

Hyungwon rested his forehead against Wonho's, the other's hat long gone, as they both were short of breath, trying not to move too far away from each other as they wanted to stay as close as possible.

"I love you, too."

**Author's Note:**

> Hakwon: Korean "After School" School kids get send to to receive extra lessons, normally until very late at night and with summer-school programs during holidays.
> 
> to this date korea sadly still is a very homophobic country. Outed people can even end up in prison simply for the fact that they're gay (expecially men who get outed during military services).


End file.
